First, the Vikings and Steelers game. I don't really care that much about either team, other than I don't like Brett Favre, and I don't like him to the point where I want to see him fail. I used to like him, and like him a lot. Its just that I am so sick of hearing about retiring, not retiring, then wanting vengeance, but its not about the packers, and can he last a season, he was hurt last year, blah blah blah. Enough already. Its bad enough that they made it seem like the second coming of Jesus came on Monday Night Football, and our new savior beat the romans (the packers) into submission. (Side note- I think the Packers could have won if they kept Aaron Rodgers on his feet, and blocked Jared Allen a little. Just look at the numbers). Once an athlete becomes ESPN's boyfriend, I start to get sick of him, and Favre is at the top of the list.
Anyway, on the last interception he threw that cost them the game, Favre was running down the field to make a tackle, only he kinda flopped to his knees and rolled over like an old dog. It was really funny to watch, and FOX kept showing it over and over, but ESPN didn't. Not once. I guess they didn't want to offend their boyfriend, and just blamed it on that guy who should have caught the ball, but didn't. See how important that is? I cant even remember his name. Moving on. (Read- too lazy to do a Google search so I don't sound like a moron).
The Saints game was quite spectacular, and everyone in their right mind should have been watching the game. Monday morning brought talk of how great Drew Brees is, or how Colston looked shaky, or how Shockey is an absolute beast. All of these things are true, but as normal, I came away with a different perspective.
In his post game press conference, Drew Brees was asked about celebrating his second touchdown by 'dunking' the football over the goalpost, an amazing feat for such a short quarterback. He said he felt like he needed to inspire the team then, and thats what he thought of first. Those that watched the game know that this is simply not true. On his first rushing touchdown, Drew spiked the ball in the end zone, quite possibly the worst and most girly spike of all time. It was horrible. It almost looked like he wanted to place the ball on the ground, just did it REALLY HARD. I think he was surprised to see it bounce up. You know he had to make up for it, and you know he was getting razzed in the locker room at halftime. I have a good feeling that Brees went up to Peyton and said something to the effect of, "You gotta let me make it up for that horrible spike-like thing I did back there...I'm not used to scoring that way..."
Im sure Peyton gave in to his star player because most of his attention was focused on trying to explain to Reggie Bush which way to run when he gets the ball. I imagine its similar to teaching a puppy how to use the bathroom outside. Lots of positive reinforcement, repetition of actions, and treats. This was highlighted by one of the few rushes Reggie had where he actually ran down the field (not the superman leap for a touchdown where he still got to run 15 yards in the wrong direction). Bush was running, and went about six or seven yards before he started that left-right, crappy dance move he does. In this case, instead of dancing around and eventually losing yardage, he was tackled- by his own player, Thomas. Look at the tape. Its like Thomas was watching the play, was happy Reggie was running down field, but once he saw him dancing, he knew he had to end it right there, and set him back on track, so he tackled him. Rub his face in it so he knows he did something bad.
Lets jump forward in the night just a little bit, to the local FOX news programming. I NEVER watch the news, but in this case, it was hoping for some intelligent insight like Jim Henderson does for WWL, or at least some local flavor. Being the stellar news show that only a FOX affiliate can afford, they showed the fans lined up at the airport to cheer the victorious Saints upon their arrival back to the city. Heart worming, right? What a great story, right? WRONG. As soon as players starting driving through the crowds, stopping for an autograph, some cheers, or the occasional high five, some nasty lady opens her sweatshirt, and the player signs her breast. Not a big deal? It looked like there were only 20-30 people out there at that late hour, most of which were parents with their kids, and one very unattractive woman whom I'm almost positive hasn't bathed since sunday, and has shown just about everyone her autograph. Welcome to New Orleans, you're on TV: show some boobs. The only good that can come out of this is that the guy wasn't a player, but is just some guy driving home, saw a boob, and signed it. I think it would be funny if she was showing off her brush with fame, and someone said, "Who is Larry McCormack?? I don't think he is a player." I'd like to see her face then.
After all that, I still managed to watch the interview with Saints legend Rickey Jackson, who doesn't know how to tie a tie, make a complete thought on subject about the Saints, or breathe without wheezing. Probably not the best to have on live TV, but oh well. Don't get me wrong here, I love Rickey- I grew up on those saints, with the 'Dome Patrol'. That was before Jim Mora went nuts and said diddley-poop, before Jeff Blake got hurt and Aaron Brooks got our hopes up, before Haslett and Ditka, and before Heisman Trophy winner Danny Weurffel was crawling around the field with his helmet turned around backwards. That was before Kerry 'Vodka' Collins got good, before Joe Horn was sleeping with Willie Roaf's wife, when Jim Everett HATED being called Chris Everett, when Gumbo was a real dog, and Fetch Monster got the tees after kickoffs. Im just thinking another person might have interviewed better. Or, successfully dressed themselves.
This all came on a day when the Patriots played in LONDON, and Steve Phillips officially got fired from ESPN for hooking up with an intern (which is why he got fired from the mets and Im sure he will join Howard Renolds on MLBTV as ex-ESPN creepy intern fornicators). Then Mark McGuire, Mr. Steroid-in denial himself, was announced as the next Cardinals hitting coach. Thats laughable, because after all, he doesn't want to talk about the past. Not to mention that A-Rod hit over .400 in the ALCS, and finally was the stud they pay him to be, yet he DOESN'T win the MVP. Personally shocked. To top it all off, there was some movie called 'Zombie Strippers' on cable. Were in an economic recession, but we can still afford to make a straight to TV movie about undead strippers and the men who pay to see it. I just don't get it.
All I can think about now is how nice the weather in Miami will be come February, and how to get down there. I might look up that guy Larry McCormack and see if he has any connections. Icicles in Hell are starting to form, boys and girls, and hopefully by February it will have frozen over.
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